A Valentine’s Day tale

Once upon a time there was a couple. Let’s call them Andrea and John. They fell in love after meeting online. They had both had previous relationships that hadn’t worked out, and had been looking for each other. As soon as they met, it felt right, even fated. Andrea appreciated the obvious cherishing coming from…

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I hear you. I see you. I am here for you.

I hear you. I see you. I am here for you. Do you long to hear those words from your partner? Maybe you haven’t truly heard them in a long time. Maybe they have gotten covered up by all the stuff that couples have to juggle these days – children, household tasks, jobs, aging parents,…

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The gifts my clients give me

You may not realize this, but every time you come in to see me, you give me a gift. I have quite a collection of them now.  Let me open a few with you so you can see some of their contents. Here’s a long flat box I’m pulling from the bottom of the stack.…

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Fine fall day – a reflection

It’s a fine fall day. The sun, although low in the sky, is warm enough to be felt through my down jacket as I scuff through the damp leaves, my old dog pulling back to sniff at the detritus. I look back at her and see her brown eyes meeting mine, her lovely face grizzled…

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Dear Liz…

Dear Liz,* Please help me. I am so frustrated. My partner and I seem to be stuck in this awful pattern whenever we argue. I’ll bring something up that’s an issue with me – honestly, it doesn’t seem to matter what it is. No matter how I try to word it, no matter my tone,…

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Avoiding conflict in a relationship

9-10-18 She is sitting on the couch in my office with her eyes downcast. Her husband is doing the same.* They are both silent. I repeat my question. “How do you bring up a potentially conflictual issue with each other?” They look at each other. They tell me that they don’t really bring up issues.…

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What keeps you grounded?

8-3-18 My client* is sobbing. She’s had a tough couple of weeks, with sick kids, a demanding boss, a husband who is in his second month of unemployment, and an elderly mother needing more care. She reaches for the Kleenex. “Overwhelming, huh?” I ask. She nods her head and wipes her eyes. “What keeps you…

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Dear partner – Let’s reconnect

7-3-18 Imagine this. You are stressed and tired. You’ve been working all day, and have come home to hungry cranky kids and a hungry cranky partner. You’re feeling pretty hungry and cranky yourself. You go upstairs to change and, as you pull your nice comfy t-shirt out of the drawer, an envelope falls out onto…

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Summer is in sight – a reflection

6-4-18 Summer is in sight. The green foliage is busting out everywhere – everything is lush lush lush. It is almost too much for me, the lushness and absolute decadence of this time of year, when the rain is still coming but the days are longer and and a bit warmer and everything busts out.…

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The power of the half smile

5-17-18 I’m reading The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh, Zen Master and spiritual guru for many. I’ve decided to incorporate mindfulness into my day-to-day life – not as a general resolution that I will someday get to eventually, but as a reality beginning now. Mindfulness has been shown to have research-based results: stress reduction, working…

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